- The shakiness in the camera has to be removed, possibly rectified by strapping it to the car, instead of simply holding the camera above it?
- The shots appear to be a bit repetitive, this may change when we mix in the performance footage
- Match the shots to the lyrics more often, this could be done by adding a back story, which was also suggested
- Possibly invent new meaning to running away, such as ripping up photos of the past, or start the video with a diegetic flashback. After listening to this we have decided to edit in a feature in which our lead cast member will look at a photo, and after a close up on the photo, it goes into a new scene, from the still image, if that makes sense.
- Faster cuts may be more appropriate instead of running, walking with fast cuts could also do the job
- Possibly using past locations that have meaning to the main character, he could remember events
- In our idea of using a car, then bike, then walking, that narrative could be that he begins by destroying things in his home, his car then breaks down, then the bike breaks, and he could possibly hitch-hike, and end the video with him walking into the sea
- There must be an obvious reason for his journey, and this needs to be explained
After looking at this feedback, we have decided to use a narrative that will have the main character be looking at pictures in an album, the picture he is looking at will then be shot in close up, before it then becomes the scene on screen, as if each picture is a memory. This narrative could work in the sense of a deteriorating relationship, and at the end he rips up the photographs to signify he has finally moved on.